ARE YOU OUT OF BALANCE?
Writing a blog is very easy.
It is not easy to write an outstanding blog though.
I don’t want to be a blogger or a writer. I want to be an outstanding blogger/writer.
Practicing writing every day for at least ten minutes might seem a little, but finding a space for additional 10 minutes activity daily might be really challenging. Ok then, write for ten minutes about what is in front of you. Apart from a pile of papers, Mia’s school uniform hanging from the chair, bread crumbs on the table, camera, 2 glasses of water, there is also a lot of doubts. There is a big chaos not only physically in front of me but also in front of my head. In the back of my head there is a bit of disorganisation as well. It is a chaos of goals, commitments, fears, joys and doubts. Which thought from the back or front of my head should I catch, look at it at expose it? What feeling or emotion should I capture? They all seem slightly blurred, or maybe squashed in the crowd of so many of them. You need to re-centre to be able to capture the one and purely see it what it really is like. You need to be calm, focused and disciplined to be able to see the brightest, the strongest or the loudest one. I still cannot capture the one. They all seem very dusty, rusty and hairy. Like little wrestling monsters in a little mouse hole that have been there too long. How do I do that? On Monday I knew what was in front of me. Today, I can only recall the past goals. Let’s see if remembering the priorities helps to re-centre my mind. Not long ago my goals were:
– Feel strong, fit and healthy and in balance (achieved by a pure and as natural diet as possible, reducing stress response and looking after my body only in natural ways- these are my synonyms of self-love, self- care and self-respect)
– Focus on happiness- mindfulness and gratitude
– Personal development- writing practice, reading research and personal development books
– Blog- to highlight the importance of holistic, ayuverdic lifestyle and to spread the awareness why it is so important
– Help others to re-balance their lives.
I think I know what is the problem here.
The problem is WHY?
Why do I need all this? Why the goals became my goals? Why this lifestyle is so important to me? Why not to ignore this old-fashioned, traditional ways of life and go for modern quick fixes? Are my choices really in advantage of nowadays fast diet, artificial instant beauty treatments and crazy status racing? We easily get lost in those fast pacing trends. What defines us today? I don’t want to be defined by the make of my car, I don’t want to be defined by the size of my lips, the type of handbag or by the way I spend my weekend nights. I don’t want to be defined by the amount of fat on my thighs, I don’t want to be defined by the social position. If I apply such materialistic standards to myself, do I really love myself? Do I really respect my own SELF? Would I really do all that for myself or for other people to see how well I do in live. For them to see what I can afford and what defines me? To prove my worth? To me it is not a balance, it is confusion between happiness, self-worth and balance. You want to define me, go for it. I don’t care, because I don’t define myself anything but the human being. Human to other humans, human to my core needs, human to the environment. My biggest goal is to feel balanced, genuine and true to myself. To live in line with myself and my humanity. My lifestyle helps me to stay balanced and congruent to myself and if I can do that to myself, I certainly can do to others. Unfortunately, confusion creep in very often, especially in stressful and pressured circumstances. Need to focus, need to re-centre myself. Feeling lost in the blurred thoughts and feeling these days. It’s not only important to breathe and be alive. What is your purpose? What is your aim? Your goal? I need to confess that I feel quite lost these days. I mainly feel lost in capturing my thoughts. What is happiness for me? It is to live deeply in line with my nature. To be focused on the connection with nature. And by that I don’t mean walking hours in forests, hills or lakes. I don’t mean eating raw food all the time. I talk about the connection to being a human, to the core of our existence and our needs. No artificial substitute can fit into this relationship, unless it is a life saving one.
You say we need fun in life. Work hard and play hard. Spend money, live life to the fullest, travel, eat, drink, buy and show off. And you are right. We need rewards, we need fun, entertainment and we want to look young, beautiful and rich. Nothing wrong with that, we all need a bit of lush in life. But is this a pure fun or is that a way of dealing with some little demons? Do I overeat because I want to forget that I am hurt? Do I abuse whisky every weekend because I lack of joy if I don’t drink? Do I buy 10 new dresses every month because I miss something (or somebody) in my life and want to fill in the emptiness? Do I eat that deep fried chips because I don’t care about myself? Do I need that Range Rover, because it is a symbol of power and status for me? If you are aware of your actions and their purposes you can easily find your balance and happiness. Just ask yourself a question- what for? and look for the most honest answer within yourself. You must be brave to be willing to notice the answer and to admit it. The answer might reflect your vulnerability and sensitivity, but it is the best way to re-centre and to follow your true dreams. Those dreams should be flowing from the core of your existence and from your core needs.
I want to be loved, cared for and respected. I want to be appreciated and valued. How to achieve this without becoming a victim of materialistic systems? How to achieve this by a true realisation?
This world is so much in imbalance these days. People are rushing, chasing, losing themselves in trends, in incongruent and inconsistent values and wishes. We can easily find our true desires, our genuine needs and follow them eventually, but first we need to confess to ourselves what we really desire and what we really need. I always wanted to be loved for who I am. I always wanted unconditional acceptance. The biggest gift you can give to yourself is staying true to yourself. If I have to conceal your personality with fake behaviours or to change your appearance to feel worth of somebody’s love or attention, then you don’t actually love yourself enough. You are right, we cannot have anybody’s appreciation for granted. You might be your best balanced, congruent and genuine self and still cannot find the person who can really appreciate your worth. You can have the fittest body, the sharpest mind and a bank account of a millionaire, but you can still not be enough for another person. If you are in connection with yourself, you can stay calm, confident and you are capable of accepting rejection without distorting your own self image by somebody’s perception. You’ve got yourself and you don’t give a shit. You don’t depend on anybody’s’ admiration.
Am I in balance with my life and myself if I hunt for fast solutions instead of a deep connection with my own humanity, personality and my whole existence? Will I achieve all my deepest dreams by looking for a balance or by chasing temporary results in fad diets, following fashion trends and expressing sarcastic attitude to everything unfamiliar and uncomfortable? Stay in balance and in peace with yourself and with the world, even if you are not enough for some people. Shield yourself with calmness, centring, grounding and a smile.
This is how a 10 minutes writing practice turned into a 1400 words blog post.
One Comment on “ARE YOU OUT OF BALANCE?”
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Some genuinely great posts on this website, thanks for contribution. “Gratitude is merely the secret hope of further favors.” by La Rochefoucauld.